Scousesubs

Submariners Times
March/April 2008

Merseyside Branch

President: Commander Ian Fraser, VC, DSC

Secretary's Slot


Hello Sailor,

Let's hope this edition finds you all emerging into BST with a spring in your step and looking forward to the lighter nights and some warm weather. For those of you still feeling one degree under I trust that you will all get better soon. Our March AGM went well with a very good attendance. All committee officers were re-elected with Sterling Simmons being unanimously confirmed as Treasurer. Sam Price was proposed and seconded as Vice Chairman and Dave Devins was voted into the new role of Social Secretary. However, Dave will also continue to be our very own 'Janner with the Banner'. The committee team is now complete and we thank you all for your support and confidence as we pull together to consolidate and improve upon our progress in 2007.

Despite our advances there have been some dark clouds on our horizon in this first quarter. We lost John (Joe) Cole over the Easter weekend. John was one of the founder members of this branch over 50 years ago and as such he was instrumental in guiding it through its toddling infancy to become one of the largest branches in the country. Stan (Blossom) Longley also crossed the bar over Easter following critical surgery. Stan was a Gosport lad but as a life long oppo of Ray Hedgecock he opted to be and remain a member of many years standing in the Merseyside branch. Two more of life's gentlemen have left our company and our deepest condolences, prayers and thoughts go respectively to their wives Beryl and Nora. Resurgam.

Ray (The Brush) Bruchez reports that he has a full house for Shep Woolley's Show at his hostelry in Crewe on 12th April. So much so that he has had to arrange more accommodation in an adjacent hotel. It might be a good idea to bring your old sleeping bags with you (only kidding okay?). Looking forward to a great night of entertainment and in meeting some old mates before and after the show and having a few sherbets with them. By the time you read this Pedler Palmer will have contacted all those going on the Merseyside coach to advise them of pick-up points and times. Mick Jones has had another brief spell in dry dock whilst they successfully sorted out a respiratory problem he was having and our Irish bard is making it his business to get in trim for the show at Crewe to see his old mate Shep.

Just to let you all know that I have now received all bookings for the 2008 Reunion in Nottingham and will be sending them off to our National Treasurer next week. This does not mean that all bookings are closed to latecomers but it will certainly depend upon the hotel vacancies status in Nottingham after initial bookings have been made and the situation will be reviewed at that time. The bookings for Submariners Spring Cruise to Zebrugge have now been finalised and roughly sixty of us set sail from Hull on the 25th April for a busman's holiday on the high seas where all hands can dance and skylark. That's all for now folks.

Yours Aye

Pedro


Front Cover: HM/S Astute in the basin at Barrow


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"Submariners are a special brotherhood, either all come to the surface or no one does. On a submarine, the phrase 'all for one and one for all' is not just a slogan, but an applied teamwork ethic."

Official - The Russian Bear is Out of Hibernation

The first vessel of Russia's fourth and latest generation of ballistic missile submarines, the 'Yuri Dolgorukii' entered the water on the 12th February 2008 at the Sevmash shipyard in Severodvinsk, Arkangelsk Oblast. The submarine was taken out of the dock at the Sevmash construction plant, the company reported in a press note. The launch of the new boat marks the opening of a new chapter in Russian submarine history. The vessel is first in three of the Project 955 'Borey' class, the most hi-tech of all Russian submarines.

The planning of the vessel was initiated in 1978 and construction started in 1996. The vessel will be equipped with the 'Bulava' missile system. It remains not clear, however, whether the boat now ready will actually carry the new missiles. The 'Yuri Dolgorukii' was taken out of the construction hall last April by First Deputy Prime Minister Sergey Ivanov.

The 'Yuri Dolgorukii', which takes its name from a Slavic prince who is credited with founding Moscow, can dive to a depth of 450 metres and carry a crew of 107 sailors. The new submarine is part of a plan approved by President Vladimir Putin to upgrade the core of the nations undersea nuclear attack forces, reports the Moscow Times. Currently, another two Borey-Class boats are under construction at Sevmash, the 'Vladimir Monomakh' and the 'Aleksandr Nevskii'.


In Memoriam

Lord God, our power evermore,
whose arm doth reach the ocean floor,
Dive with our men beneath the sea;
traverse the depths protectively.
O hear us when we pray, and keep
them safe from peril in the deep.

We remember with reverence the boats and the brave crews that remain on eternal patrol and particularly those lost during the months of March and April in the years 1939-45 during WWII. We will remember them with great pride and undying gratitude for their supreme sacrifice - Resurgam - They shall rise again.

Thistle - Tarpon - Sterlet - Unity - Usk - P39 - P36 - Pandora - Upholder - Urge - Thunderbolt - Turbulent - Regent - P615 - Splendid - Sahib - Syrtis - Stonehenge - XE11 - Affray (1951)

Diesel Dinosaurs Corner


The Ping Bosun's Log by Mick Jones

Hello Members & Friends

Doesn't time go around quick? Seems like no time at all since I was penning the last Ping Bosun's Log. I hope it finds you all well, my best wishes to all of you who are not feeling too grand at the moment. Get well soon.

Fred Cunliffe, who was another highly respected member of the branch, has gone on his last patrol. It was Fred who passed away on 27th February who first introduced me to the association. We both worked in Ford's car plant and one day I was approached by Fred who was a company fire-fighter who said, "I hear that you served on submarines?" When I said that I had he told me that there was a branch of the then Submarine Old Comrades Association in Liverpool. There was to be a meeting that week and he promised to introduce me to the Chairman and Secretary. That was the start of a long friendship and Fred and I became firm pals over the intervening years.
Most members will remember the reunion at Blockhouse when I fell and cracked my head on the ground outside the CPO's Mess. I had a hell of a face and it was Fred who took me to the sick bay to get me patched up. The sick bay tiffy was conducting tests on me for concussion and when he told Fred this, Fred's rejoinder was, "You're wasting your time mate, he's an Irishman and he acts concussed all the time." "Just throw a couple of stitches in him and send him back to the mess bar." This resulted in Fred being ordered out of the sick bay leaving the sick bay tiffy to work in peace. The next morning being Sunday the wives and girlfriends came aboard and Fred's wife, Anne, was feeling under the weather and Fred took her along to the sick bay to see if they could do anything for her. The same SBA was on duty but Fred was on his best behaviour that morning. Fred is the second Vice-President to report to the big drafting Commander up above. There is only one more Vice-President left, so seemingly it is not a post to volunteer for. We send our deepest condolences to Fred's family - Resurgam.

CABLE & WIRELESS LIMITED
AG895/A - BELFAST - 27 OCT 1942
ALL WELL AT HOME
GOOD SHOW KEEP IT UP
GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE - MOTHER JONES -
EFM - JX254129 JONES - SURFACE - MALTA

CABLE & WIRELESS LIMITED
AG614X - BELFAST - 19 JANUARY 1943
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT
GOOD SHOW KEEP IT UP
ALL WELL AT HOME - MOTHER JONES -
EFM - JX254129 JONES - SURFACE - MALTA

The telegrams reproduced above were sent to me by my Mother every time she heard P42 and Alistair Mars mentioned on the wireless. She was confined to bed and the radio was her only contact with the outside world. The Admiralty used to announce submarine successes and losses on the midnight news; I suppose timing the broadcast of losses for reasons of morale to a late hour. When she heard P42 (Unbroken) mentioned concerned with any successes, my brother would be despatched to the cable office and a cable was sent off to me congratulating me on this achievement. It mattered not that the skipper of Unbroken Lt. Alistair Mars DSO, DSC and Bar was the hero of the hour; to her the honour was all her son's. That's mothers for you.

HMS DOLPHIN (circa 1944) His Majesty King George VI was to pay a visit to Fort Blockhouse the almer mata of the submarine service. The divisions were lined up on the parade ground outside Clyde Block. Captain 'Pusser' Darke (S/M5) with his upper class accent addressed the assembled sailors thus, "When his Majesty arrives I will call for three chahs, I will say hip, hip and you will say Hurrah, do not say Hooray, say Hurrah, it sounds bettah and carries farthah."

The love of a beautiful maiden and the love of a strong true man and the love of a baby unafraid have existed since time began

But the greatest love, the love of loves, even greater than that of a mother is the tender passionate infinite love of one drunken sod for another.

The provenance of the above is lost in the mists of time; I just wish I could claim responsibility for it. This has been a quickie sailors and I promise to make it longer in next month's Ping Bosun's log. In the meantime have yourselves a good time. Hope to see you all at Crewe in April. Finished with main motors and steering. God Bless.

Yours Aye, Mick

"They weren't just names and pennant numbers, they were our home addresses. Now the old neighbourhood is torn down and gone and all that is left are memories."

HM/SM's Otus and Opportune share a sad and unworthy end in the breakers yard. Once upon a time they were our home away from home where many of us lived the best and happiest times of our youth aboard the quietest diesel boats in the world, in company with the best of shipmates a man could have. Surely these two old ladies deserved a more dignified fate than this? It breaks your heart to see them so unkempt, forlorn and abandoned. But happily they are not forgotten by those who served on and relied upon them, and who in turn never betrayed our utmost trust in them. We'll recall you both with deep pride and affection.

Annual Memorial Service

Our Annual Memorial Service will be held again this year in the Sailor's Church of St. Nicks at the Pier Head, Liverpool, on Saturday 21st June. Muster fully booted and spurred at 1030 hours for service at 1100 hours. The usual civic and military dignitaries will be invited to attend and the service will be officiated over by Father John Williams MBE (Chaplain of HMS Eaglet). Later all hands are invited to the Exchange Bar in Old Hall Street for a hot/cold luncheon and liquid refreshments. This venue (directly opposite Sam's Bar) has been selected for its close proximity to the church and also for much easier access for those who have mobility problems in getting around. It has a lift from street level with wheelchair access to the bar areas where everything required is on one level. Please come along and join us in remembering your loved ones who are also our dearly departed, but never forgotten shipmates.

Whale of a Tale Compartment

The Neptune Quartermaster and the Crusher

Pol was sitting in the QMs lobby at HMS Neptune's internal gate sipping his stand easy coffee ruminating on how good life is. Just 3 weeks to go before the great land of opportunity which is Civvie Street is reached, and what a great number being QM is (three weeks on and two weeks off), what a great colours job this morning and so on. He looks up to see a Pusser's Tilly draw up where it shouldn't and discharge a Leading Regulator onto Pol's perfectly brushed forecourt.

Strange thinks the QM, that yon Crusher is not wearing any webbing. Yon Crusher then proceeds to crash into Pol's lobby and plants himself in front of the full-length mirror (which the Booties had rigged up to preen in) and commences to pull at this bit of kit and then that bit of kit and brush frenetically at his nice blue suit. Of course thinks Pol, it's the Commanders Table this morning and yon man is going up for an award.

"Morning Leading Reg", says the always polite QM, "are you going up for your third badge then?" "No I f****** ain't." screamed the Crusher, "Get out of that f****** chair and start acting in a seamanlike manner you scruffy little f****** submariner you." Nice, thought Pol, but par for the course. "Report to the Reg office after your watch and tell 'em I said you are to get a proper service haircut.", bawled the uncouth bastard and then disappeared through the internal door to the Admin block giving it a slam that must have been felt in Sauchiehall Street.

Now next door to the QMs lobby was the office of the OCRM which he shared with his Sergeant Major, a Colour Sergeant of the RM Provost Branch. Both of these gentlemen were ensconced in the said office at this time munching on tasty bacon wedges and sipping delicious coffee (Nescafe, not Pusser's, posh QM me) that Pol had made with his own fair hands only 5 minutes before the erupting Crusher arrived.

"Pol" called the OCRM "was that man who just left your lobby the same p***k that jumped out of the illegally parked Tilly?" "Yes Sir" says Pol "the very same." "Did I hear him swearing Pol?" "Yes sir indeed you did", replied the honest QM. "Was he swearing at you Pol?" "I'm afraid so sir, he was very annoyed at me." "Was he now?" exclaimed our Green Bereted hero, "And did he slam the door upsetting my stand easy?" "Oh yes sir" cried our valiant servant of the Submarine Service "and he used the booties mirror too." "Utterly disgraceful." muttered our now irate Officer Commanding Royal Marines.

"May I make a suggestion sir?" piped up the SM, "some of our bootnecks are a bit rusty on vehicle search procedures, shall I take them out and hone up their skill in this highly technical operation as practiced in Northern Ireland?" "What a splendid idea SM, carry on forthwith and remember to ensure that all seats come out of the vehicles as SOP and check especially the Tilly as the IRA are very cunning at counterfeiting naval vans and impersonating sailors."

The SM then mustered his band of trained killers, SLRs at the ready, and doubled them down to the main gate where they created havoc. After a short while the OCRM shouted, "Pol have you ever watched a thorough vehicle search?" "No sir", Pol replied, "I'm afraid not." "Come and watch this," said OCRM "you may learn something." Those booties were soooo professional; the crushers van was now in tiny bits, seats out, engine mangled, spare wheel and all tyres deflated and stripped, linings ripped out, dashboard on the pavement and wires hanging everywhere, just a wonderful sight to see. The Booties then had to go to dinner leaving a pair of forlorn and confused looking Leading Regulators doing a crash course in vehicle assembly.

Pol had himself a severe haircut, just to clear his own yardarm, but for some reason felt ecstatic and found himself with an undying regard for that fine body of men - the Royal Marines. After Pol had opened the office the next morning the OCRM spoke to him. "Nice haircut Pol, your mate the Crusher was at Commanders Table yesterday wasn't he?" "Yes sir." Pol replied. "Do you know why Pol?" "Not a clue sir" said Pol but a feeling came over him that something surreal was about to happen. "The Master at Arms had him trooped for badly damaging and scraping the paintwork on a Patrol Tilly, careless sod; he got a very hefty fine for that!!!"

Moral of the story: Only idiots f*** with the Marines - Sub or Royal.

Submitted by Polaroid - many thanks for that one mate.

Submarine life is not a service, it is a religion.

The Ditty Box

I heard it on the grapevine that the Spanish Navy has acquired several new submarines. These are beautifully made boats which have been fitted with glass bottoms that will now give the Spaniards the opportunity to view some of their historically older vessels.

New Members

Welcome aboard to two new members to the branch. Tony Bullen who attended our February meeting with his lovely wife Maureen; and Norman Dodd who was formally a member of the Dolphin branch at Gosport have joined us. We look forward to meeting and welcoming Norman at our April meeting.

Sick Parade

Had occasion to phone Harry Trubshaw recently and was concerned to find that a year after heart bypass surgery Harry is still having problems with medications which are causing him respiratory and mobility issues. This explains why we haven't seen him at meetings in a long while. 'H' is stolidly getting on with it and challenging the medical fraternity at every turn in a determined effort to get back to a decent health level. So let's give him some support with a few phone calls and get well cards. Call me on my contact number for Harry's address and phone number and let's cheer him up a bit okay?

Donations

To all those who have contributed donations to the branch over the past two month period may I say your support and generosity to the branch is a remarkable display of kindness for which we wholeheartedly thank you. Thanks to your donations and excellent money management & control by your Treasurer, Stirling Simmons, our branch finances are now much improved upon this time last year. Bravo Zulu to all concerned with this achievement.

A ship is called she because there is always a great deal of bustle around her; there is usually a gang of men. She has a waist and stays; it takes a lot of paint to keep her looking good. It's not the initial expense that breaks you, it is the upkeep. It takes an experienced man to handle her correctly; and without a man at the helm, she is absolutely uncontrollable. She shows her topsides, hides her bottom and when coming into port, always heads for the buoys.

Think of it this way; where else could you have gone to sea in the most awesome piece of equipment ever built, had great scran, outstanding shipmates, got to p*** off Ivan and get paid for it?